The benefit of "slacker monk mindset"

There's a certain narrative I think of as the slacker monk story. It says: Don't get involved, man. Keep your head down. It's not worth it. What "it" is doesn't matter. Usually it means volunteering to interact on an ongoing (not a regular) basis. It doesn't have to.

The benefit from buying this story is that I get to pretend I don't feel anything in relation to other people. I get to pretend I don't have any embodied reaction when someone responds to me. I get to pretend I don't feel a tightness in the chest, that I don't feel what I could call hurt. I get to pretend I don't feel a tightness in the jaw or the gut that I could interpret as feeling stupid for asking. I get to pretend that I don't feel a tightness in the face and shoulders or a heat that I could say is anger. I get to pretend I am an island.

Keeping out of things supports the pretending. As long as we're not interacting, there's no inconvenient evidence to the contrary. When there's evidence it has to be quietly covered up and that's a bother. Better stay out of it and make things easy.

That's the narrative, anyway.