1 min read

Remembering that kindness can be reason enough to speak

Something I've been noticing lately is the chance to give kind feedback. I've been noticing this lately in the context of Ultraspeaking, in the context of that and another Discord server, and in the context of a poetry critique group I am running. I can give feedback that is both useful and kind, rather than being quiet.

I have tended in the past to say nothing at all. I notice a pattern in how I used to be of hoping to come up with something smart to say. I'd be sitting there waiting to think of something that would blow the idea wide open. Like I have to think of something amazing if I'm going to bother saying something.

What I'm noticing is that I can just say something kind and that this is often worthwhile in itself.

Critically, I don't say "nice" things I think are untrue. This is important. I don't lie and say I think it was good if I don't. If I really can't think of anything nice to say and it's a large enough group context, I stay quiet. Quiet is often better. If I need to say something, maybe because the context is one on one or a smaller group, I will try to find something I do think was good. I'm not going to lie, because that's a bad idea on multiple levels. But I can and, as much as I can, try to look a little harder.

In fact, I'm finding that I often find smarter things to say when I do this than when I try to be witty.

Something for me to remember.