Crazy things I do to myself, 1/∞

I do crazy things to myself nearly every day. These include:

1. Feel bad about things I've done that worked out badly, even when I don't recognize them as part of a pattern of mistakes that I need to fix.
   1. In fighting games it is sometimes noted that "X worked this time, therefore it was a good idea" is a fallacy, though not in such terms. Likewise I think "X didn't work this time, therefore it was a bad idea" might also be a bad idea. Unfortunately I fall for this one all the time.
2. Worry about situations I might get into in the near future, and simulate various unlikely scenarios around that.
3. Notice I am upset and tense, and find a place to sit, distract myself and quietly wait it out.
   1. I have done this because it usually works eventually. Eventually I'll run out of steam on whatever I'm upset about, or something will arise that's more captivating. It doesn't work very quickly, though.
   2. Side effects include people coming to check if I'm okay, which is kind of them.
   3. I am not sure I like being the guy who looks nervous, like he needs comforting.
4. Avoid doing things I am bad at. Dances, for example, but lots of other things too. This is of course a great way to never get better.
5. Avoid doing new things because I won't know what's going on.
6. Treating my success or failure to execute on a habit I want to start as a referendum on whether I'm a good person.
   1. Many habits I want to start, I chose because they seem like they are part of being "a better Joe." So every time I fail, there's a little pang of oops, I meant to do better there.
      1. Example: "After I get into a closed position to dance, I will offset myself from my partner so we don't step on each other." Sometimes I fail at this and feel bad about it.
      2. Example: "After I stop at a stop sign, I will check all ways including for bikes or pedestrians before proceeding." Sometimes I am distracted worrying about something (see (1) and (2) above) and I check only perfunctorily — not as carefully as I feel is responsible.
   2. I'm a lot better at this than I used to be. I used to amplify this and draw it out a lot because I fully bought into the bad-person-feeling as valid. That could go on for quite a while and suck a lot and accomplish very little. Now I buy into it maybe 5% as much as I used to. I still buy into this feeling way more than my logical side says is reasonable.
7. Focusing so hard on dancing correctly that I sometimes forget to relax and have fun.
   1. Especially egregious in line dancing because correctness counts for so little. As long as I stay out of others' way, who cares if I'm doing it exactly right? Only me. So why should I give myself a hard time about getting it slightly wrong?
8. Speculate to myself under my breath that, "I don't know, Joe, I might be crazy."
   1. I think do this when I get anxious that maybe I can't get what I want, or not all of it. I recognize that that's a possibility. When I say this it doesn't make me feel better, but at least I can tell myself I'm self-aware about wanting things that it's not fair to want and wanting things that don't make sense. "At least" I'm "smart"/wise enough to recognize that I might be crazy.
   2. I probably could find a healthier habit for coping with the anxiety and uncertainty of conflicting desires, couldn't I.

I don't do every one of these every single day, but I probably do at least one list item each week. I might do it more often but I do not want to contemplate how much more often I do it — that is a "don't think about it" if anything is.

Anyway, it sure would be nice to break these bad habits. Maybe that's worth trying after I have practiced more with the Tiny Habits toolbox. It does have a whole chapter on breaking bad habits, after all.